


A Memorandum from Illyria

by Hello_Spikey



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-08
Updated: 2010-03-08
Packaged: 2019-10-29 13:59:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17809271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hello_Spikey/pseuds/Hello_Spikey
Summary: Illyria discovers a new way to dispense her orders.





	A Memorandum from Illyria

Wolfram and Hart, Inc.  
Internal Memorandum  
  
From: Illyria, god-king of the primordium  
To: Insignificant mortals and demon spawn comprising the rabble known as “staff”  
  
My shell is not “bodacious” nor do I enjoy your lustful gazes while I amuse myself with my pet. Neither will I put up with other epithets and protestations of attraction. If I were interested in mating with vermin, I assure you, I would do so without regard to these elaborate dances you term “foreplay”.  
  
If I wish to engage in conversation with you, I will announce so by saying “Converse with me, inconsequential minion.” If you have not heard these words, refrain from pushing your putrid breath toward me.  
  
Finally, the ficus in the second floor lobby does not receive enough sunlight and cries out for pity. I have moved it nearer the windows. Whomever continues to move it back to its former place will taste my wrath.  
  
_________________  
  
Illyra stared unblinkingly at the computer screen as Spike moved the cursor and clicked “send”.  
  
“And this method will communicate my orders to all at once?”  
  
“You got it, Blue. Wonders of modern technology. There, it’s already gone.”  
  
Without warning, She stood, forcing Spike to hurriedly duck out of the way – Illyria had a way of just knocking a bloke to the ground. “Excellent. Conversing is tedious. And will they obey?”  
  
Spike looked quickly away from the owl-like stare. “Yeah, sure will,” he lied. “People always do what email tells ‘em to.”  
  
“Excellent.” She stalked forward. “I require entertainment now.”  
  
“For the last time, that was me studying you! I…” she paused at the door, leveling a glare at him. He sighed. “I’ll get my clipboard.”


End file.
